Chapter two

Posted on June 28th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

When one door closes, another one opens.”

I’ve heard that little nugget about 746,000 times in my life. And I hated it every time.

The fact of the matter is… it’s true.

To recap the ongoing saga of my professional life, I resigned from my job last week. I gave two weeks notice and then asked if I could use my vacation days so I could just move on and not have to come back.

Of course, the little megalomaniac with the Napoleon complex said, No.

I had a meltdown. I was livid. I was apoplectic. I gave him blast after blast and caught him in lie after lie, but all he said was, “I’m not into negotiating.” We ended the conversation badly and then I went on a Facebook tirade. It was rather brilliant, if I may say-so, but it didn’t help. I had to leave the house several times to keep myself in check. Once I went to the gym. Once I went to Costco. Going to Costco when the anger meter is on 11 is never a good idea.

Then I sat down and wrote a scathing letter to the managing director of the company, outlining just what a miserable place to work is has become and just how inefficient a manager my boss is.

Then I took another walk.

All the time, I could hear my old man saying, “Don’t burn any bridges, don’t burn any bridges.”

I’d like to say that I eventually calmed down, but all that really happened was I got too tired. I didn’t send the letter. I didn’t start any fights. I simply went about my day and then when I was fully exhausted at around 4am, I went to bed.

Except I didn’t fall asleep. I laid there in the dark, tossing and turning, mind racing, cats bugging. It was brutal. Quitting a job is not supposed to this stressful. For some reason I was worried that they were going to fire me. Wait a second, they can’t fire me. I already fired them.

I fell asleep shortly before 6am. When I woke, my back was sore. My head was aching, and I’m pretty sure I was a shade grayer than I was yesterday. I angrily crawled back to the living room and began to start my day with the notion that I was going to be heading into work at 7pm.

At 1:30, I got a call from the smarmy little worm. “Based on our conversation yesterday, we’ve decided to go ahead and release you.” I was puzzled to say the least. Did I get fired? I know that they are trying to screw me, but I just haven’t figured out their angle yet.

Anyway, slowly the anger dissipated. It didn’t happen all at once. First the back loosened up, so I started dancing. Then I started vacuuming. Then the dishes. I think some of the gray may have dissipated, The weight didn’t leave though, I still have the same belly I went to bed with.

I wrote positive messages on Facebook. I took my shirts to the cleaner. I went to the gym. I went shopping for sneakers and slacks. I WENT SHOPPING ON A FRIDAY!   In short. I was happy. I was free. I wasn’t going to work. I had a weekend off. I didn’t need to take a nap, although I just might anyway. I couldn’t wait to get home to write this blog. I’ve been working on a new piece of fiction, so the blog has kind of fallen by the wayside.

Finally, I sat down and sighed. Freedom felt good. Then it dawned on me. I’m starting a new job in 10 days. Ugh. I felt my stomach tighten. The new job is going to be harder. The new job means new hours. It means taking the train. I might be miserable!

I shut the brain down immediately. That was just the fear talking. The simple fact is, I interviewed with 4 different people at the new job, and unless they are 4 terrific, amazing, undiscovered actors, they all loved the company they worked for. Maybe HR rounded up the only 4 people in the entire company that were happy, but I doubt it. The funny thing about negativity and positivity… they are both contagious.

My last stop was toxic. It was a miserable place and everyone in it was miserable as a result. If the interview process was any indication, that positivity is going to rub off on me. But that’s a topic for another day. I’ll let you know in 10 days. For now that needs to be put to bed.

For one Friday night, I’m free.


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