“When one door closes, another one opens.”
I’ve heard that little nugget about 746,000 times in my life. And I hated it every time.
The fact of the matter is… it’s true.
To recap the ongoing saga of my professional life, I resigned from my job last week. I gave two weeks notice and then asked if I could use my vacation days so I could just move on and not have to come back.
Of course, the little megalomaniac with the Napoleon complex said, No.
I had a meltdown. I was livid. I was apoplectic. I gave him blast after blast and caught him in lie after lie, but all he said was, “I’m not into negotiating.” We ended the conversation badly and then I went on a Facebook tirade. It was rather brilliant, if I may say-so, but it didn’t help. I had … Read More »
Fear Strikes out…
That was the title of the book and movie about Jimmy Piersall, a former Major leaguer who battled with mental illness his entire life. I borrowed the title because I’ve been battling with a few demons for the past few weeks. Some days I get a few licks in… some days they win.
After weeks of waffling, I walked into the office of my manager and handed over my resignation letter. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I didn’t enjoy the moment, but for days I was terrified.
When I was 29, I left a great company for another job. I did so without a moment of fear.
When I was 40, I decided to go back to school and try to make a career change. It took a few weeks of planning and a bit of … Read More »
I don’t know how many times I’ve been to Central Park, but I’m certain it’s in the hundreds. And yet every time I go there, I either find a new route, or see something new. Yesterday both happened.
I started out on the Fifth Ave side of the park, and after a bunch of twists and turns, found myself over by the Hans Christian Andersen statue and a body of water called the Conservatory. Truth be told, I didn’t like this area particularly much, so I made my way up the hilly slope towards the 72nd street exit. Off to the right was an oblong patch of grass that contained a few dozen people milling about in various forms of leisure. In my never-ending search for things to write about, I happened to gaze upon a young woman with a number … Read More »
The first in an ongoing series about fear…
I’ve been trying to write this blog for about 4 days. And each time I start, I am forced to stop and delete it. The reason, quite simply, is fear. No pun intended. I was afraid to put this blog out into the world.
Today started out bad. From the minute I opened my eyes, I knew it was gonna be a long, arduous day. I could taste the apprehension in the back of my throat. I’ll tell you why.
For the longest time, I have been miserable at work. The job is ok. The hours are ok. But I am completely unfulfilled. After complaining about it for the better part of two years, I started looking for alternatives. I had an interview last week. I won’t reveal the company yet, but they offered me … Read More »
In 2000, after 18 months of depression and soul-searching, with a healthy does of religious reading thrown in, I came out of the closet… as an atheist. I did it at an AA meeting. My friends looked at me like I said I was a baby-killer. The woman next to me shifted her chair away. I said “Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.”
I’m what I like to call an 80/20 atheist. I don’t really believe in god, but I pray a lot… just in case. Sometimes I pray for things… sometimes I just pray for knowledge or guidance. Mostly I just pray for the strength not to kill stupid people. I say that prayer a lot.
I was raised a catholic… kind of. We didn’t go to mass all that much, but I knew all rules and the prayers and rituals. I … Read More »