April2013


Things I don’t get…

Posted on April 29th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

With the advent of computers, social media and instant access, everyone has the opportunity to voice their opinions, and do so quickly. I, of course, try to take advantage of that each and every day. But I am always fascinated by the ability of some people, or trends, or ideas to be elevated without any merit or talent. Of course, Kim Kardashian comes to mind first, with her two nitwit sisters following right behind her, but  I do have to give them credit for being masters of marketing. Kudos to them. Here now is my list of things and people and books and movies and ideas that I simply do not understand how they have managed to become popular. Feel free to comment and/or add your own.

I don’t get Bradley Cooper.

I don’t get Catcher in the Rye.

I don’t get Stanley … Read More »


The week that was…

Posted on April 26th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Obviously, if you’ve been following my blog or my facebook page, then you have been hearing me whine about my anticipated (now completed) nasal and sinus surgery.

So the night before my surgery, I decided to have a little fun. I had to shave most of my goatee in prep for the procedure, so I decided to mimic the hundreds of pictures on facebook that claim to be for one cause or another. I drew a home-made sign, the kind you see homeless people carrying everyday on subway platforms and in front of churches, and took the picture looking as pathetic and forlorn as possible.  It must have worked because I got dozens of responses and I actually saw a spike in book sales. Truth be told, any sale at all shows up as a spike, but that’s not the point. This might … Read More »


From Brooklyn to Boston

Posted on April 21st, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

I’ve been away from this blog for the last week, partly because I have been working diligently on a screenplay that needs to be finished by May 1st, and moreso because I have been riveted by the events in Boston this past week.

I’m not going to comment on the events or the suspects; not about who they are, and what they did, and what they believe, or what I think should happen to them (him). I simply don’t know the facts yet. Maybe I never will. But I do know this; in a civilized society, everyone gets a lawyer. Manson got a lawyer. Bundy got a lawyer. Hell, even Eichmann got a lawyer. If we are going to call ourselves the beacon of greatness, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard than the rest of the world.

Aside from my … Read More »


Misanthropic xenophobic predjudicial blogger from the Land of Kings

Posted on April 13th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. 4 comments

Ok, so I’m not really any of those things. Not totally anyway. We all have our prejudices, and the media loves to exploit them, and we let them. We know that not all Irishmen are drunks, and not all Italians are guidos with uncles in the mafia, but we go along with the stereo-type because it’s funny. Having said that, and despite my mixed Italirish heritage, I can’t stand the drunken shanty-irish and the loudmouth guidos that populate my neighborhood. Or at least they used to.

A misanthrope is someone who has a hatred for mankind. I’m on the fence about this. I don’t think people are so terrible. I just think they are selfish. I was complaining once and my brother told me, “You don’t get it. They are starring in their own movie, you’re just an extra.”  It’s totally … Read More »


A Day in the Life…

Posted on April 12th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

Today, (Wed) I had two appointments in the city. I love my city days, especially when it’s as nice out as it was today. I decided to make a day of it. This is what I heard and saw.

The 5 train is always crowded. People are rude. They don’t smell too good either. A three-man doo-wop group got on and sang a gospel song. They were really good. I gave them a buck. At Nevins street, a dude with a bag full of sandwiches and chips and juices boxes got on. He was collecting for the homeless coalition of something or other. He looked shady and had a nasty disposition when no one gave him anything. I didn’t give him anything either.

After my first appointment on 36th and Park, I walked up to Grand Central to catch the shuttle. On my way, … Read More »


Hoarding and clutter

Posted on April 10th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

As I have stated before in a previous blog, I have a touch of OCD. It’s not a paralyzing form like some people have, it’s more of an interesting conversation piece at family gatherings. It also makes for funny blog entries. Along with the OCD, I have a dual issue that is currently causing me a great deal of stress.

Ok, it’s not that much stress. I think I’m a borderline hoarder. That’s ok on it’s own, but the problem is… I hate clutter. Part of my OCD is that I need to have everything in it’s proper place at all times. If I spend more than 5 minutes trying to find something, that’s a problem.  Its mean either A. I absent-mindedly put something in the wrong place, or worse  – B. someone moved something in my house. This is a major … Read More »


In the middle of the middle…

Posted on April 9th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. 4 comments

So it’s no secret that I’m 47 now. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Truthfully, the worst thing about being 47, is answering “47” when someone asks how old you are, especially if she’s obviously 29, and there is no lie that you can tell that will legitimately put you in the same generation.

When I was a small boy, I asked my old man about the year 2000. I asked him how old I would be and he replied “35”. I almost fell over. 35 seemed ancient. Hell, he wasn’t even 35 at the time. By the time that 35 rolled around, I was more than prepared. I was truly in the prime of my life; great physical condition, riding high in my career.

I was taking an acting class at that time. I was rehearsing some … Read More »


Anxiety and weirdness

Posted on April 7th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. 5 comments

I started out being different. Right from the jump, I had to shine. Most of you took 9 months in the cooker. I took a full 10. From Nov 21th all the way to Sept 20th. Poor Theresa must have thought I was never coming. As the story goes, her doctor, Dr. Fanta, was going on vacation in late August and passed her off to another pediatrician. She told him, “No, I’m going to wait for you.”  He laughed and said, Good luck, Mrs. McAllen.

He wasn’t laughing when he came back three weeks later and saw her sitting in his waiting room. “We’re going to have to go and get him.” And with that, a legend was born.

All throughout my younger years, I felt different and set apart. I had friends, a younger brother, and 400 cousins that I played … Read More »


Whoa… what a difference a day makes.

Posted on April 4th, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Confidence is a funny thing. It comes and goes like the wind, with no rhyme or reason.

It’s strange how moods work. You can go for days feeling great, and everything around you seems perfect. You feel strong, your hair looks good, everything is funny and sunny, and then BAM. It’s over.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been riding a wave. After the initial release of the book, and the subsequent response, I have been on a roll. It’s been terrific. Then, in an effort to help book sales and exposure, I started this blog. Truth be told, I had no hopes at all for the blog. In fact, prior to a few weeks ago. I hated blogs. I felt that they were all badly written and self-indulgent. Until I started one. Then a strange thing happened; I got a tremendously … Read More »


Confessions of a jaded bachelor

Posted on April 3rd, by James McAllen in Uncategorized. No Comments

As a disclaimer, I must admit, I am diametrically opposed to the institution of marriage, unless you need health insurance. To me it’s an exercise in folly to think that two people are going to be able to stand each other’s presence for more than 10 years without killing each other. But there are those lovestruck fools who are convinced that their love will outlast all others, so I humor them.

When I see my friends get married, I just make the fair assumption that its becuase the dude doesn’t know how to cook and is simply tired of eating take-out. My mother hated every female that I came in contact with, so she made sure that I knew how to cook, make the bed, and become acquainted with the business end of a vacumm cleaner. But they are in love, and I’m … Read More »